Sunday, May 14, 2017

Our Children's Birth and Miscarriage Stories

Enjoy the stories of our children:

Ellie's Birth Story

Full Name: Elliana Thérèse Kissinger
Name Meaning:  Elliana is Hebrew for "God has heard my prayer"; Thérèse is after St. Thérèse of Lisieux (whose feast day is October 1 - the day Brian & Courtney got engaged)
Birthday: Sunday, February 10, 2013 at 11:25am (5 days late)
Stats: 8 lb, 5 oz; 20.5 inches
Place of Birth:  Fairfax, Virginia USA


The story as I shared it with Bradley Class members:

At my 40 week appointment, I was 3 cm. dilated, bleeding (I had lost my mucous plug a week and half earlier), and some light contractions and the doctor thought I'd have the baby that night or the next day.  Well two days later there was nothing happening.  So know that that can happen!  The following day however, things started moving again.  That night my water broke at midnight and I started having real contractions (you'll know the difference).

I labored at home for 3 hours, but I had decided to have an epidural - so by 5 a.m. we were at the hospital and that was in place.  I was 5 cm dilated when I arrived at the hospital and by 9 a.m. I was fully dilated and started pushing.  I never needed pitocin.  They turned down (and eventually off) my epidural so I could feel the sensation to push.  By 11:25 a.m. she arrived.

Brian did have to sit down and have some juice at some point when the pushing started - so guys, try to have something in your stomach- so you can stomach what you'll see :)

It is the BEST feeling ever when you touch your baby the first time!!!!!!!!  Nothing compares to it :)

Ellie had jaundice - so after we left the hospital we had to go back every day so she could be tested again (they prick her foot each time :( and we were given a bili-blanket, which allows you keep her at home.  It took 4 days for that to go away.

Now we're all doing well.  Brian has been home these first two weeks which has been awesome (he's a great daddy!) and my mom arrives this weekend.  Napping when you can is a great idea if it works =)

Additional notes:  I had an episiotomy during my delivery and it took weeks before I could sit normally (I needed to sit on a pillow or blow-up ring all of the time).  Nursing also got off to a rough start following Ellie's birth.  I was so emotional when they handed her to me and asked the nurses to hold her.  They measured, weighed, and swaddled her up and I never did skin to skin.  It was much later in the day the first time I tried to nurse her.  I remember going to a group nursing class the next morning, but I had to leave because I couldn't stay sitting on the chair (At the time, I didn't understand all the discomfort I was having was from the episiotomy).  But we persisted and by 6 weeks nursing was going great and I nursed her until she was 1 year old.

Resources:
The Bradley Method Classes (10 classes); Breastfeeding class (1 class); Infant first aid & CPR (1 class)


Dominic's Story

Full Name: Dominic Mary Kissinger
Name Meaning:  Dominic after St. Dominic; Mary after the Mother of God
Miscarried: Tuesday, March 25, 2014 (Feast of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary)
Place of Delivery:  Fairfax, Virginia USA

The news of our miscarriage as shared with my friends:

So I have some sad news & I'd really appreciate your prayers.  We found out the day after Ellie's birthday that we were pregnant again, but when we went in for our first ultrasound (on Ash Wednesday) I should have been nearly 8 weeks and the baby only measured 6 weeks - he still had a heartbeat then but it was very low.  We went back 2.5 weeks later, this past Friday, and learned officially the baby had passed.  Friday was a very rough day, but we're doing pretty well now.  Hard letting go of the plans we were starting to form.... just surrendering to God's will.  Ah, Lent!!  :)  We named him Dominic because the deacon at our church gave us a St. Dominic relic & we had that with us that time we learned the news.  My body isn't registering the fact that the baby has passed, so I will go in for a D&C on Tuesday.  My mom is coming tomorrow to take care of Ellie this week.  One of my close friends here just went through this with her first pregnancy, so she's been such a blessing to talk to - but I also realize my grieving is different because I already do have the blessing of little Ellie!  I am so thankful for her & all the joy she brings =)  Thank you for praying for us!!  :)  

I had a D&C at the same hospital where I had given birth to Ellie on March 25, when I would have been 10.5 weeks along.  March 25th is the Feast of the Annunciation -- the day angel Gabriel appeared to Mary and told her that she would be the mother of Jesus Christ, the Son of God.  It is celebrated 9 months prior to Christmas each year.

Our pastor had a memorial mass for Dominic for just Ellie, Brian and me at our parish's historic church.  It was very simple, but we brought the little baptism gown and blanket from Isaiah's Promise along with some ultrasound pictures - so it was nice to honor him that way.  Father's homily was very beautiful, just reminding us we don't know why this happened, but we do know it will bring God glory.  I'm just so thankful for our Faith and knowing we will see our baby again!

Additional notes (shared with my family/friends around the time of his death):

I just wanted to share this because I thought it was so cool!  After our miscarriage, we learned about this church in New York, the Church of the Holy Innocents, where you can have your unborn baby's name entered in the Book of Life.  They light a candle for the babies & all day people come by and pray for them.  Just so cool!  We gave Dominic the middle name Mary because we don't know for sure his sex, and because when I found I was pregnant and took pics of the pregnancy test I had it propped up against this little pic of Mary on my nightstand.  I know now that his spiritual Mother can hold him tight until we join him in Heaven!  We're so blessed that in our two years of marriage, God has blessed us with two little ones :)

Resources:
Book: After Miscarriage: A Catholic Woman's Companion to Healing & Hope
Journal: Grieving the Child I Never Knew: A Devotional for Comfort in the Loss of Your Unborn or Newly Born Child
Church: The Shrine of the Holy Innocents: The Book of Life entry form
Websites: 
http://www.babyandinfantloss.com/
http://www.isaiahspromise.net/
http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.com/search/label/Miscarriage
http://thelewisnote.com/





Francis' Birth Story

Full Name: Brian Francis Kissinger II
Name Meaning: Named after daddy!  Brian means "strong"; Francis after St. Francis of Assisi (also the pope at the time was Pope Francis) 
Birthday: Wednesday, April 22, 2015 at 5:59pm (3 days late)
Stats: 9 lb, 2 oz; 21.5 inches
Place of Birth:  Fairfax, Virginia USA


The story as I shared it in his baby book:

You were due on Sunday, April 19, which was Mommy's birthday - but you showed no signs of moving that day.  On Tuesday, April 21, we went for a check-up doctor's appointment - but still you showed no signs that you were on your way.  We scheduled an appointment for the following week.  Daddy went to work and Ellie and Mommy played a lot that day and went on a walk when Daddy got home from work.  Then we all went to St. Mary's Historic Church to worship Jesus in adoration (Daddy played guitar).  Mommy put Ellie to bed and a few hours later went to bed herself.  Around 11:30pm, Mommy got up to use the bathroom and her water broke!  She showed Daddy, called the doctor, and got into bed as her contractions began.  Around 9 a.m. Ms. Maddy came to watch Ellie, and Mommy and Daddy went to the hospital.  By 11 a.m. Mommy was 6 cm dilated and she got an epidural.  Unfortunately, Mommy was very dehydrated and the epidural made her feel very sick.  But eventually the doctors made everything all better.  Mommy and Daddy watched "Delivery Man" on TV as we waited for you.  Around 5pm, Mommy was ready to begin pushing.  Initially her midwife was with her, but when Mommy and your oxygen levels dropped they called in the doctor.  With a few more pushes and the help of the "vacuum" you were soon delivered.  Mommy and Daddy rejoiced!

Additional notes (shared with my family/friends around the time of his birth):

It was a pretty emotional couple of days - having just learned of my friend's delivery** -- I was only 1cm dilated and 50% effaced that Tuesday a.m. - but the doctor thinks the stress of the bad news and then being very dehydrated - I kind of forgot to eat and drink that day) jump started my labor..........but since he was 9 lb 2 oz, I'm very glad he came out when he did!!  18 hours of "labor" from when my water broke (Ellie's labor was only 12 hours -- so I was hoping for 6 hours w/ this 2nd child) - but real contractions didn't start until around 3 am and once the epidural was under control (with the administration of several drugs and pumping me full of more fluids) things were relatively pain-free!  My oxygen levels dropped very quickly after 1 or 2 pushes -- so that's when they called in the "real" doctor (Brian then took this opportunity to use the bathroom!  I wasn't sure where he was going at first.  Thought he might be getting sick.... but he was back soon).  I was pretty out of it -- but they put an oxygen mask on me -- I only opened my eyes to see the doctor showing me the vacuum he was about to insert (which really isn't that scary) - then a couple of pushes and he was out.  Only 2nd degree tear -- which went along the line of my previous episiotomy tear.  My recovery has been so much better and quicker than with Ellie.  With Ellie I really struggled to walk for a few days -- not the case this time.  And my milk came in very quickly - about 48 hours after birth.  He loves to eat -- he's back up to 8 lb 13 oz at his check on Monday.  No jaundice.  He had a slight heart murmur at birth -- but the doc yesterday said she can barely hear it - that is very common when it's really nothing.  We will see a follow-up cardiologist in 3 months just to confirm it's nothing (which it really appears to be).  So far so good with Ellie - she loves him and is always saying "he's so little!"  She's excited for Nene to come to play with her on Saturday!  Brian will return to work tomorrow, just part-time - his teaching job.  He'll leave next Monday for his interview in Steubenville on Tuesday morning - and we'll know by next Wednesday if we're moving to Austria or not.  That's my life!!  OK time to feed him :)

**Referring to my dear friends, Amy & Dave, who lost their daughter several days after her birth.  You can read about their daughter's birth story and how they are living "Life Outside the Lines" following her death.

Resources:
Books: Fertility, Cycles & NutritionNatural Childbirth the Bradley WayBaby 411 
YouTube video: How to Breastfeed - Deep Latch Technique 



Isaac's Birth Story


Thanks for reading!

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